Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

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If i knew people where coming i would have trimed my antlers

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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