A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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What do you call a Icelandic man? A guy who lives in a snowhouse with a elevator

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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Women's rights

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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