Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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A blonde has a headache, so she goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes some Advil, she takes it, and then feels significantly better.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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