A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Well that explains a lot, thank you.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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