Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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Get it? More.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody fight between a black and a white man.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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