Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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