your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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