I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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