How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Once upon a time a was born

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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White men's rights

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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