the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +10

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops