Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Yo' mom is so fat, She should probably consider a low fat diet in which no more than 30% of the calories are from fat.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops