Knock knock! Who's there? Wristwatch! Wristwatch who? Orange ya glad I didn't say banana

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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say it ten times fast: oh

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

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Good afternoon.

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A women in the kitchen.

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What is funnier than 24? The fact that you think numbers are funny?

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops