Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Niall Horan

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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why do prostitutes do what they do? Because they have abusive fathers who always used them as sex slaves as children

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I <3 Hitler

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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