- Anti Joke

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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