One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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What do you can a stinky mexican? Whatevet his name may be. Possibly Jose

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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everyone dislike this

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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