a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Woman rights.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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