V I T A M I N C !

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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Rush Limbaugh

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops