walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops