How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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I love alchohol!

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your dads so fat he needs to go on a diet

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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