What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

Women's Rights

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

kennah campion when she talks

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

sweating like antoni with a girl

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

A elephant drowns when it was swimming, why did this happen? Who cares its already dead!

Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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