what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +12

were at work systems r down

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse said nothing because it doesn't understand human language.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops