How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where's my baby??

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +19

no really what are ur names?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many jews can you fit in a car? As many as the compacity of the car can hold and how big the jews are

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops