Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

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Knock knock Who's There Sally Sally who? Sally who .got hit with a fridge and fell off a tree because I have no arms. Sorry, I do not know you.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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