What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

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What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

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Justin Bieber hits puberty

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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