What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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did you hear about the mexican that went to college? yes

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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N-E Pats never cheated

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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