Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Pickles are powerful

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How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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What do gay kittens eat? Cat food. Friskies and Fancy Feast are both popular brands.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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John Cena for president

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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kill yourself

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While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops