What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? like most animals that wander onto the road, it was completely unaware that the road can be very dangerous. It didn't go onto the road on purpose, it simply treated the road as if it was just like the rest of the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops