Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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The Female Orgasm

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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I can't submit this joke because I got the captcha wrong

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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