Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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pull my finger (farts)

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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