Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Why bouriquet laugh ? cause hes mom get hit by a bus.

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Keep Scrolling Penis Keep scrolling Keep scrolling

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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