why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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