Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

Try it Yourself »

And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

What's big and long? My dick.

What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

Hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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