Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

Swag.

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

I had friends on the Death Star.

A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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