What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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A chicken crossed the road and the farmer said, "Where the hell is that chicken going!?"

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Whats brown and sticky? ..Poo

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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"...."-Hellen Keller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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