What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

Finally, lets take the fight two the streets shall we, no I am not asking, asking is for pussies: YOU VIOLATED AND KILLED MY FATHER! YES YES WHAT IS IT WITH YOU WOMEN ANYWAYS I VIOLATED YOUR MOTHER TOO, BUT YOU DON`T HEAR HER WHINING ABOUT IT! In fact tell her to stop her sending me nude shots, I prefer it when she sends me those she takes of you in your sleep... Your friendly Neighborhood R*pist Moral Man:The day Moral Man graced your village was the worst day of your life, for me it was fathers day! Literally, do you really think I killed your father? I would never comitt suicide! Now, let us celebrate our reunion with some... "Moral WINcest" Barlog: Yes we would like to see the tapes you made for me banging her mother. two Super Turbo edition hours later: YEEEEEEEEEEES! YEEEEEEEEEEEES!

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...