why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops