How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a chinese man pays the full price

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops