So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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What's black on top, and white on the bottom? Rape.

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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