A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Animal cruelty

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Animal

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Woah again Nero, you are so wise... I love you, I really do. If someone can and has already changed the world for the better, its you. No wonder people believe you have superhuman abilities, I used to think so too, but I think I understand what humans can do on another level now, you did that, thank you.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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BUT HWY?

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clamidia

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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