What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops