I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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The Oakland Raiders

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Why is it wrong to love your neighbour? You would be loving a dickhead.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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