the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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