what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What walks on it's hands My uncle

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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