Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

whats black and strange a paki

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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