A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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Skrillex.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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