Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a person of the jewish faith and a pizza is delicious food.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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What does a black man love more than anything? His family you racist c u n t.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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