Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops