DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Skrillex.

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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