What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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