Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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WILLYS

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops