Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops