a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Why is the Mexican a gardener? He has a mental disability that makes him unable to do more than a simple task.

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Why did the man die? He was old.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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