When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

Shltskc gw? G

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

A man walks into a bar. He's black. Its 1962. He is immediately arrested.

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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