My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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