Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

thumb_up thumb_down +19

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

G

thumb_up thumb_down +19

NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops